What Am I Waiting For? Lyrics – Token

What Am I Waiting For? Lyrics Meaning

[Chorus]
This part shows how much he’s tried to change himself—his appearance, his behavior, his personality. He’s no longer connected to whoever he once belonged to emotionally. But deep down, he still feels like it’s not enough. He keeps wishing he’d changed more. It’s like he’s waiting for a breakthrough, but he doesn’t even know what that is.

[Verse 1]
Here, he’s remembering a conversation with his grandma where she mentioned wanting to visit him in L.A., but she also feared she might pass away before getting the chance. That hit him hard, but he avoided going deeper into the moment by switching the topic. Now he regrets not being more real and open with her. He talks about how memory fades and how she had to deal with constant health issues, yet still brought up death like it was just casual. That made him start wondering how she truly felt about dying—if it scared her or if she thought about what it would be like. He reflects on how fast life can be reduced to just one phone call about someone being gone. That thought shakes him. He wishes he had done more to make her final years feel special and meaningful, something that would’ve felt like a blessing.

[Refrain]
This line hits with the feeling that no matter how much you prepare or try to stay ahead in life, you can still lose. When bad news comes, it’s always too late to change anything.

[Chorus]
He’s still stuck in that loop of self-change. He’s tried everything to grow or improve himself outwardly, and he’s no longer emotionally tied to someone he once cared about. But something still feels off inside. That lingering feeling of not being enough keeps coming back, making him ask why he’s still holding back.

[Verse 2]
He talks about how he used to dream about death, and ever since his grandma brought it up, he’s been losing sleep. People might think he’s too young to be thinking so deeply about it, but he wants answers from someone who’s closest to that stage of life. He wonders what she really thinks about what comes after—will it be peaceful or even better than what she had in New Jersey? Will she be reunited with loved ones, like her husband? He’s trying to imagine her world and understand her perspective. She raised kids and grandkids, which probably gave her life a deep purpose. Maybe she found joy in that, but he’s not sure if she truly wanted to keep living. He admits he can’t really understand her point of view because his whole life still feels like it’s ahead of him, and he’s just trying to make sense of it all, even when it seems cloudy or uncertain.

[Refrain]
Once again, it’s that feeling that hits hard—you can try to stay ahead, do the right things, or prepare for life, but when the bad news hits, it always feels like you’re too late to fix anything.

[Chorus]
Even after all the changes he’s made in how he looks, speaks, and behaves, nothing seems to feel like enough. He doesn’t belong to the person or version of himself he used to be. Yet, he still wishes he could do more to improve. That question, “What am I waiting for?” shows that deep down he feels stuck, like he’s not taking action on what really matters.

[Verse 3]
He recalls a phone call where his grandma tensed up when death came up in conversation. That moment stayed with him because he wanted her to be at peace, but it felt like she wasn’t. He wonders if she passed away with peace or confusion, and the fact that he’ll never know really hurts him. Eventually, he starts to accept that some questions don’t have answers, and maybe that’s part of the beauty in life and death. He mentions that when she dies, especially on a Tuesday, he’s going to be overwhelmed with grief. His birthday is near, and even if she had survived until then, he always avoided talking about it with her because he wasn’t ready to face what was coming. He kept pretending it wasn’t happening. Now, he regrets not doing more for her while he still had the chance.

[Refrain]
He realizes again that even when you try to be ahead in life, sometimes it doesn’t matter. When bad news comes, it hits like a wall—you can’t change what’s already happened.

[Bridge]
This part captures a raw emotional moment. It feels chaotic and painful, like time was wasted and nothing makes sense. There’s a mix of anger, hurt, and confusion. His mom says something heartbreaking, showing how deeply affected she is. The whole thing feels like grief crashing in without structure or logic.

[Chorus]
He repeats the chorus to show how much change he’s gone through over time—how he transformed everything about himself on the outside, even emotionally distancing himself from someone he cared about. Still, that nagging feeling sticks with him—he never feels like he’s done enough. There’s always that voice inside asking why he’s waiting, what he’s holding back for. He’s stuck in this cycle of change and regret, wondering when he’ll finally become who he’s trying to be.