Mario à la Kart Lyrics – Starbomb

Read the full Mario à la Kart lyrics by Starbomb along with the music video, song credits, release information and other details about the song.

[Verse 1: Announcer (Arin Hanson), Racer (Arin Hanson)]
He’s been practicing racing
He drove for NASCAR
He’s a normal human being with a normal ass car
He tips his hat to Mario
They ring the Mushroom Cup bell
He steps on the gas

[Chorus: Announcer (Arin Hanson), Racer (Arin Hanson)]
Red turtle shell!
Ah no!
Oh my god!

Ahhh no!
Oh god
Yah
What is this, some kind of accident or something?
Yah
I don’t know

[Verse 2: Announcer (Arin Hanson), Racer (Arin Hanson)]
Boy, that was violent (Uh huh)
His head is no bueno (I’m sure it’s fine)
He’s used to pavement, now
He’s racing on a rainbow (What?)
He guesses he’ll adjust through sheer force of will (I guess)
But suddenly there’s company
(Oh it’s like another racer or something?)

[Chorus: Announcer (Arin Hanson), Racer (Arin Hanson)]
Bullet bill!
*pain sounds* Is that a bullet?
Yah
Like- like a giant bullet, are you for real?
Yah
Alright

[Verse 3: Announcer (Arin Hanson), Racer (Arin Hanson)]

His upper lip is bleeding
He thought this was a race (Dude)
But then he was assaulted by a bullet with a face (This isn’t happening)
He’s sure there’s no brain damage (I’m not)
I don’t know how he’s sure (I’m not!)
As long as he can keep the speed (Oh god, what now?)

[Chorus: Announcer (Arin Hanson), Racer (Arin Hanson)]
Lightning bolt!
Agh- Ow!! I gotta get outta here, what the fu*k is happening? Holy s*it!

[Verse 4: Announcer (Arin Hanson), Racer (Arin Hanson)]
He’s tiny!
He’s tiny!
And then he gets run over
*getting run over sound effect*
All his bones and blood and organs are mixed up with the motor (*scream*)
He’s an abomination of god (*crying*)
But at least he has ten coins (I don’t care)
He’s going to die
Oh god, he’s going to die (Oh no)

[Chorus: Announcer (Arin Hanson), Racer (Arin Hanson)]
Boomerang to the groin!
Oof– Oh god, somehow that was the worst one
Yup
OOOOOHHHHH
It hurts
Aww
You gotta get me outta here, man
Nope
This is crazy
I know
I’m gonna die out here man, I’m gonna die!
I know

[Bridge: Announcer (Arin Hanson), Racer (Arin Hanson)]
Why are you doing this?
Yah
But
Yah
That’s not an answer, man

[Chorus: Announcer (Arin Hanson), Racer (Arin Hanson)]
Three red shells!
Ooh, god, why are you doing this, stop
Three more red shells!
You like that, b!tch?
*combination of sobbing and coughing*

[Verse 5: Announcer (Arin Hanson), Racer (Arin Hanson)]
He’s in eighth place now
We’re still doing this?
Oh yes, we are (Fu*k)
His skin is peeling off and he’s coughing up tar (I think I see a way out)
His bones are baby food (Fu*k you, I’m going off course)
(*tires screech* I’m outta here!)
He thinks he’s getting away (YAAAAAHHH!!)

[Chorus: Announcer (Arin Hanson), Racer (Arin Hanson)]
Lakitu picks you up!
Oh-hoh, I’m here forever aren’t I?
Yah
Augh
Yah
What did I do to deserve this, man?
Ahh, you don’t remember?
(You called his dad a cuck!)
Steven?
Yah
Oh!
Yah
I’m sorry man, dude we were kids
That’s not enough
Wha- what do you want, money? y-you want my car? Wh-
Don’t want your stuff

[Verse 6: Steven (Arin Hanson), Racer (Arin Hanson)]
But there’s something you can do to make this all better (Anything!)
Apologize to Candace (Who- who’s Candace?)
Candace d!ck fit in your mouth
(Gotteem!)
Yus!