It Kills Me Lyrics – Token

It Kills Me Lyrics Meaning

[Chorus]
In this part, he’s saying that people watch how he lives and move through life, but they can’t really see what he’s dealing with deep down. He’s not being fake, but he’s not being totally open either. When people ask what he does or how he’s doing, he just gives them the version they want, not the real one. Instead of facing emotions, he drowns himself in work and distractions. From the outside, his life might seem fine or even successful, but it’s taking a heavy toll on him inside. He’s been let down so often by people and things he once trusted that you’d think he’d be used to it, or tougher by now. But all those disappointments haven’t made him stronger — just better at hiding how bad he feels. He doesn’t show it, but he’s hurting. Saying “it’s cool but it kills me” is his way of admitting that while he keeps things together on the surface, it’s really breaking him inside.

[Verse 1]
Here, he’s opening up about the pressure he feels from his relationship with his mom. She’s always believed in him and backed him up, expecting him to be a star by now. But he feels like he’s letting her down every time he has to explain that his shows aren’t full or his career isn’t blowing up like she hoped. He promised her big things—a mansion, a glamorous life—and he knows she’s too kind to say she’s disappointed, but deep down, he feels she doesn’t want to hear more empty promises. She’s getting older, and time is running out to make those dreams real. He keeps getting ideas and new goals, but ends up ditching them before they work out, even if the first one might’ve been the right move. Money isn’t his main focus—he cares more about finding purpose. Still, he knows his mom might quietly feel let down, even if she’ll never say it out loud. That quiet tension weighs on him.

[Chorus]
Once again, he talks about putting on a front for others. People see him doing his thing, but they don’t really know what’s going on inside. He just gives people what they expect, acting the way they want him to act. Instead of actually feeling his emotions, he keeps himself constantly busy, which helps him cope but doesn’t fix anything. Outwardly, things may seem fine, but inside, it’s exhausting. He’s had a lot of letdowns from people and things he once believed in, and even though that should’ve toughened him up, it hasn’t—it just taught him to hide his pain better. He doesn’t want others to see how much it affects him, but the truth is, it really gets to him. That phrase “it’s cool but it kills me” keeps coming back because that’s how he sums it all up—everything looks okay, but it hurts more than anyone knows.

[Verse 2]
In this part, he talks about how fame isn’t what he thought it would be. People recognize him everywhere, which used to sound cool, but now it feels weird and uncomfortable. He thought he’d enjoy this lifestyle, but it’s actually starting to bother him. When fans come up and talk about his old music, even though they mean well and show love, he takes it the wrong way. Instead of hearing support, he starts doubting himself, thinking they’re asking where the “old him” went or if he fell off. It messes with his confidence, even though they’re just being kind. They’ll say they love his work and want a picture, but his mind twists that into criticism. He’s struggling to recognize and appreciate the support right in front of him. He’s starting to wonder if this life he’s chasing was ever really meant for him or if he misunderstood what he was meant to do. That self-doubt, even in moments of love, is what really hits hard.

[Chorus]
He’s still showing that people only see the surface. He acts like everything’s okay and just goes with what people expect from him. Instead of processing how he feels, he stays busy to avoid it. On the outside, things look fine—but deep down, it’s slowly tearing him apart.